This year, Christmas came right after a hectic work week, just 2 days after deadlines, meetings, and emails. There was no “ease in” or “prep for the holiday” time. I even had things to take care of on Christmas Eve. However, my computer had other ideas. For Christmas, my computer gifted me a break before I was ready for it. It decided to run at a sloth like pace, so I couldn’t get anything done. It drove me nuts! I was tempted many times to throw it across the room! I was even losing sleep over this issue.
Needless to say, my holidays didn’t start off great. I was so focused on getting my tasks done so I could enjoy the rest of my break that I spent so much of my time dealing with my computer! I tried to google everything I could, cleaned up my hard drive, learned more about RAM than I cared to, and even tried do everything I needed to on my iPad or iPhone. It just wasn’t getting done.
It wasn’t until the day before New Years Eve that I considered this to be a sign, or even divine intervention. Maybe the computer was telling me to slow down! Maybe it was testing me on whether I live based on my priorities or if I’m just all talk.
Despite the break being scheduled on the calendar, my computer refusing to work efficiently, and everyone around me not working; I was still pushing to get work done, and turning into a Scrooge in the process. Had it been a client or a friend going through this I would have told them, “Hey, stop! Take a break! Either fix it later, or give it to someone who knows how to fix it.”I did not say these things to myself. Instead, I stressed myself out, was not present with my family, and generally brought the mood down in my house (except for when I went Boxing Day shopping).
I’m a believer in learning from failure. To me, this was a failure to practice self-care. I already knew what I should have done, but did not choose to do it. So, what did I learn (or relearn)?
- I learned we all lose our connection with self-care from time to time, even the best of us, who know the necessity of it. It’s not helpful to beat yourself up about it, just get back up, learn from it, and move forward.
- I learned that when were so deep in our negative state, perspective is hard. Sometimes, it’s not until we reach the tail end of it that we see what was going on, and what we needed to do to make the situation better. Outside perspective can help in these situations, so call a friend when you are struggling.
- I learned that there are signs everywhere, but we can’t receive them, unless we’re open to them. When bad things happen, maybe we should ask ourselves, “What is this situation trying to tell me?”
- Bonus: I learned the importance of always backing up your computer! I lost nothing fortunately, but this could have been a lot uglier. Because of this scare, I now have all my work backed up on a hard drive.
Once I was able to recognize this, the time off was great. It is now January 4th, and I am typing and posting this blog on my iPad while my computer is being cared for by someone who knows what they are doing. It is recovering, and I am realizing that I benefitted from this experience. I needed a major wake up call to learn this lesson. I am grateful it was just my computer, not my kids, my husband, or myself that fell ill. Plus, the tech informed me that he will be uninstalling a handful of unnecessary programs on my computer; programs I had accumulated over the past few years. He told me these programs were contributing to the slow down. Once I get my computer back, it will be running almost like new. Makes me wonder what unnecessary programs I need to uninstall in myself to make me run almost like new.
