I just got back last week from a Bliss B4 Laundry retreat – the most amazing experience – where women come together to learn about wellness and nurture themselves. This was my fourth time attending these weekends, and each time I am in awe of what happens to the women who attend, including myself.
I have often praised the organizers, Sarah and Gaby, on their ability to cause transformations in so many women. Every time I am there, I watch as the women’s perspectives shift from resigned to resilient. Sarah and Gaby knew that healing would occur when you gather soulful practitioners with women in search for wellness. However, a lot more than just healing goes on. Countless times I have seen women reconnect with their purpose, remember what joy is, and recognize how valuable they are.
What I have learned at these retreats is that women’s gathering is essential for our wellbeing. That is the secret that makes this experience different from simply spending a weekend with a number of practitioners. It is the spiritual bedside manner we have for a fellow participant after they’ve made a huge breakthrough, the optimism we see when a woman we’ve never met before has conquered her fears along side us, the opportunity to express your emotions without reservation in front of others. The organizers have figured out that it’s not just them and the practitioners who heal the participants; it’s each individual’s contribution to the whole. It’s the shared laughs and tears. It is the look in another woman’s eyes when they genuinely say, “I hear you. I understand your pain; I experience it too!”
This happens in varying degrees when women gather, whether it is a retreat like this one, or a girls’ weekend, or a regular book club. In the past, when women had opportunities to gather they had to find reasons to do so (Tupperware parties, preparing food for big holidays, a bridal/baby shower). These events had an external purpose, however there were additional benefits to them, the benefit of connecting with each other. Today, women don’t need to have an external purpose to gather. We have earned the right to just get together, and reap the benefits from it. Here are some of those benefits.
It allows you to completely take off your caregiver hat for a while.
We are nurturing beings. As such, we tend to attract people in our lives that depend on us. When you are gathering with other nurturers, the only one you are expected to nurture is yourself. Isn’t it amazing when we don’t have to make sure that everyone we are “responsible for” is ok? Isn’t it nice when the only person you have to make sure ate, went to the bathroom, or is entertained, is yourself?
It connects you.
When women get together, something magical happens. You realize that you are not alone in your experience. You recognize that you are part of a bigger picture, that there is a tribe for you. When you remember you have this support system, your ability to cope with pain increases, your fears don’t seem as daunting, and you get to share your joys with others.
It allows you be authentic.
On a daily basis we present ourselves to others based on our assumptions of their judgments. We hold our true selves back, and don’t let our light shine. When with others you feel connected with, you have less self-doubt, you don’t hold back your true self, and others can see your value. This gives you opportunity to become more comfortable with being your authentic self in the regular world. It increases your confidence.
I bet you didn’t know that you got all this at your last book club. Although we’ve come far enough along to not have to justify a female get together, I worry we haven’t placed enough importance in continuing the tradition. I worry that it’s been put on the back burner due to the busyness of daily life. I hope reading this gives you a reason to call your friends up and meet up. Not everyone may be able to go to a retreat, although if you can, I highly recommend Bliss B4 Laundry. If not, girl’s weekend, night out, lunch, or even a coffee, just call them up and plan something!
