Makeup wearing has always been a practice I’ve teeter-tottered on. After Alicia Keys made a big splash for going to the VMAs bare faced, I decided to re-examine my stance on makeup.
I read her article in May on Lenny about the NoMakeup movement. She made a compelling argument on why we should all abandon makeup because it physically covers up our authentic imperfect selves. She expressed when she entered the music business, makeup was an avenue to create a flawless persona to sell her music, as expected by the industry. At the VMAs, she still looked beautiful, just not flawless. It took away the notion that she’s a celebrity or superhuman. I felt like I could relate to her more, she looked real. What else I “saw” was her strength in standing up to a cultural expectation placed upon her, by allowing herself to be so raw, so vulnerable. To me, that was more beautiful than any makeup item that exists.
A long time ago, I was one of those 16 year olds who had a Caboodle filled to the brim with powder, blush, eye shadows, you name it; and I enjoyed painting my face! Getting older and having more responsibilities (studying, work, housework, family) allowed for less time to “doll myself up” on a daily basis. Makeup wearing became an occasional (even rare, when my children were babies) event. I put on makeup when I had the time and energy to, and left the house barefaced when I didn’t. I had managed to escape the notion that wearing makeup was a daily expectation for a non-celebrity women like me.
That was until a couple of years ago. I was speaking with a professional who was giving me advice on how to be more successful with my practice and she said to me, “You know, you have to make potential clients feel like you made an effort to see them. Putting on some powder and lipstick doesn’t take that much time, but it shows you’ve made some effort.” I think that was the first time I was told to wear makeup. I wondered how I managed to avoid a direct message until my late 30s, outside of the usual media messaging.
Part of me considered listening to her because she might be right. The feminist part of me wanted to make a rebellious statement and throw away all the makeup I owned. It made me recognize that being barefaced in public is my way of filtering out the people who would normally judge or place such an expectation on me. To be honest, if a potential client wouldn’t want me as their therapist because I didn’t wear mascara, then we’d probably have bad rapport anyway.
However, I still recognize there are times when I enjoy wearing makeup, maybe put on lipstick or line my eyes. I’m also aware that as I age, makeup allows me to camouflage my “problem areas”, which at times I appreciate. I feel on certain days a little brightening up on the outside, brightens me up on the inside too. Once, a makeup artist friend described makeup to be an art and one’s face a canvas. She found it a way to express oneself. I could appreciate that perspective. We all express our personalities in how we greet others, the clothes/hairstyles we wear, or the conversations we choose to have. Makeup wearing is another way to do that, and can be flexible based on our whim of that day.
What I came to realize was makeup wearing should be a decision driven by choice, not expectation. I feel this is Alicia Keys’ point as well. For her however, externally driven make-up wearing was so over-consuming, she has taken a stance to remove it completely from her life. I can understand why she felt this way. If we rely on makeup to present an unrealistic persona of flawless beauty regularly, we can become trapped by expectation of maintaining that persona. The only way out might be a total removal of the practice.
These days, sometimes I wear makeup and most times I don’t. When I don’t, I recognize that I am making myself vulnerable by showing my authentic self. This can be difficult for many women, even though we might not all have as many eyes on us as Alicia Keys. Taking out the expectation of wearing makeup allows me to feel empowered; as it is not a burden, but an opportunity to express creativity when I want to. Simply put, makeup wearing is a choice for me. Is it a choice for you?
